close of service conference

i am reclined on the veranda of a luxury bungalow watching the sun set behind a canopy of trees along the eastern bank of the nile river in jinja, while monkeys meander casually across a closely-cropped lawn in the low evening light to collect leaves from the landscaped foliage surrounding the buildings and pathways of this resort compound. it is a moment both uncommonly peaceful and frustrating, unfolding and ending of its own accord whether i'm ready or not.

this is my close of service conference for peace corps. the fifteen or so incredible and inspiring volunteers in attendance are being generously (and deservedly) put up for a few days in a luxury resort which would otherwise be well beyond the reach of our modest budget. the food has been outstanding, the atmosphere relaxed, and the mood optimistic if not a little apprehensive. two years in a developing country sounds like a long time, but it is not forever; our service here is winding down and it is now time to look forward to whatever may come next.

of course, this is not at all how i expected to reach this point and there are still numerous challenges to face before i say goodbye to our beautiful host country. if all had gone according to plan, i would have been in this position six months ago, alongside the stellar volunteers who went through every day of training with me way back in march of 2007. but things do not always go according to plan. i got sick and was sent home to the usa early in my service as a volunteer. i questioned the wisdom of fighting to come back to a place where i had encountered such misfortune and worried that something bad might happen to me again should i return. i grew weary of the reinstatement process, which took months longer than expected; i was literally two days from giving up entirely and moving on when i was finally cleared to be a peace corps volunteer in uganda once again. exhausted, anxious, and uncertain, i was thankfully (in hindsight) willing enough to take advantage of the second chance i had been given.

the purpose of this close of service conference is to help peace corps volunteers reflect on their service to date and make a work plan for their few remaining months in country. yes, there are projects to wrap up and administrative loose ends to tie, but there is also an intimidating set of cultural concerns to manage as we begin the process of easing out of our communities, both materially and socially. this will not be anything like moving out of my apartment in baltimore and i am thankful for the guidance we've been given and the time i now have to make a responsible plan.

the perspective i have gained in the last several months has been invaluable. i witnessed dozens of my colleagues go through the process of saying goodbye to their friends and communities as they close their service and move on to exciting travel adventures and, in some cases, uncertain futures. i am acutely aware of the fact i am present here and now...but will not be forever. in fewer than six months, i'll likely be packing my bags to leave uganda indefinitely. this time will pass on its own, completely independent of my will; all i can do is stay true to the promises i have made to myself and my community and consciously appreciate how lucky, blessed, and extremely proud i feel to be in the position i'm in. none of this has been particularly easy, but the rewards have been satisfying and rich beyond expectation.

as the glow fades to gloaming, i stroll down the walkway on my way to one last delicious dinner before packing my bags and mentally preparing for all of the work waiting for me at site. tomorrow will be an adjustment, as i say goodbye to these several days in a luxurious fantasy land and re-enter the real world of work and struggle, all the while respecting the uncertainty of what comes after all this...which will undoubtedly be a much bigger and jarring transition.