behold the poo fly. perhaps not surprisingly, i first encountered this tiny, stink-obsessed creature long before i arrived in uganda. but what always bewildered me about him was that i had only ever seen one single poo fly in my entire life. he lived in the men's bathroom on the 3rd floor of my old office building in baltimore. sure, there were some days when the interior of that room was enough of a disaster that i would perhaps hold my breath and/or forgo a hand-washing to minimize my time commitment inside...but i never felt it was quite bad enough to spawn a new insect species. at any rate, it seemed to be exactly what had happened, and the poo fly achieved a near mythical status in my mind. this was clearly a creature that loved filth and had exquisitely discriminating taste. i felt oddly proud of the fact it had chosen a bathroom i used everyday to call its home.
you can imagine my surprise when, soon after arriving here in uganda,
on the other side of the world, i encountered my old friend. i played it cool though, addressing him in a even tone. "poo fly," i said. that's as far as our conversation went. he pretended not to hear and clung lazily to the wall of the putrid pit latrine to which i was contributing. but what i did not realize at the time was that i had
not been followed here by the familiar feces fiend from the 3rd floor. no...this was one of his countless relatives, who must have existed in uganda all along! perhaps my old friend grew up here and, by some odd twist of fate, i caught him on a holiday trip to our bathroom in baltimore, which he undoubtedly read about in a poo fly budget travel publication. i don't know. what i do know that my illusion was shattered. i had not, in fact, witnessed the dawn of a species.
burdened by the weight of this realization, my relationship with the poo fly quickly soured. we still speak, but it is always one-sided and my tone grows harsher each time i see him. well, actually, now it is
them. they seem to be everywhere. "f*&#ing poo flies!" i mutter every time upon entering the latrine. for some reason, these tiny creatures plague me more than anything else. it is not so much that they interfere with my life or play any active role in disturbing me. for the most part, they keep to themselves. it's what they stand for...
under normal circumstances, i would be both morally and nutritionally opposed to eating anything from mcdonald's. i know the food is bad and the corporation is worse. hell, i've only ordered one solitary extra value meal in the last 6 years. but my friends, these are not normal circumstances. i have been living in a wonderful ugandan village for the last four months, meeting incredibly friendly people and settling into my new home, which features endless summer weather, waterfalls, tea breaks, mountains, banana plantations, and lizards. but the food, while delicious and satisfying, has been a big change from what i am used to. for perhaps the first time in my life, my body is regularly informing me that i have not eaten enough fatty, unhealthy foods. i crave burgers, fries, pizza, and cakes, and go to great lengths to eat such things. but perhaps the most specific and unexpected craving i had was for a hot "chicken" mcnugget dipped in a tub of "fresh" sweet & sour sauce. i don't know where that craving came from or why it surfaced. but like harold & kumar, i knew i would not rest until my stomach got exactly what it wanted. which is why i was so happy upon my arrival in pretoria (i.e. america in africa). within walking distance of the guest house were two large golden arches, promising an end to my quest.
nugget in the sauce!
nuggies in the mouth!
